Why quitting isn't going to work for me

It’s not a secret that I have been on this weight loss journey for YEARS. Yes, I have lost weight, gained it back, lost it again and then gained it back PLUS MORE. Now I am deciding that this is my final journey to get to my weight loss goals. People always ask me "What's your ideal weight?" My honest answer, "I have no clue." Sounds crazy, right? But that is my good God honest truth. I don't really have magic number in my head.

Here are 3 things that I do know:

1. I want to continue to be healthy. I don't have any health issues, no high blood pressure, no diabetes (even though it runs heavy in my family), no high cholesterol.....NOTHING. Just these thick thighs (saving lives daily lol).

2. I want to look good naked. Who are we kidding, everyone wants to look in the mirror with no clothes on and say "Dang, you fine." Do a twirl, do a lil twerk and a lil shake and feel confident in what they see. 

3. I want to be able to keep up with my kid. My son is turns 13 next month and I can officially out-run, out-play and out-swim him. This is all because I workout the way that I do! Sorry, Jayden lol

I say all of this to say that after working out, eating better, focusing and being consistent I realized is was missing a key piece......MINDSET! The first time I lost almost 50 pounds (2015) I couldn't see it. Even though everyone around me did. My reality was that I was skinny and sad, YUP, you read it right! You would think after all I put myself through, that being "small" would be the end all be all. Nope, that's the biggest lie I told myself. I was the most fit I had ever been and still couldn't go to the mall without having a meltdown in the dressing room. Mentally, I could not catch up to this new body I had worked so hard to achieve! No matter what clothes I put on, how many pictures I took, who complimented me, I could not see the difference. 

Fast forward to 2020, I'm now back in the groove of things, I am back focused and consistently working out and fixed my eating habits AGAIN, and BOOOOMMMM the pandemic hits! Gym closed down, but it was spring so it was nice outside. I knew that getting out of this pandemic was either going to go one of two ways. Me gaining as much weight as my knees could handle or me pushing myself (because there was no trainer anymore) to get up daily and head outside to workout. I knew that if I gained the weight back that I was losing it would send me into a depression. The only option I had was to FOCUS ON TANISHA. So I got up daily, walked/jogged 2 miles, took online workouts and worked out outside everyday. I must admit that I felt crazy as heck going outside my front porch with my speaker and phone working out in a live online class. But I was willing to look foolish, then to end up back over 300 pounds. 

Since the beginning of the pandemic, I have been making sure I am focused and aware of what I the future looks like that I see for myself. I want to ENJOY this journey and process. So, no, I cannot quit on myself!!

Leave a comment